Tears in My Eyes Excited!

I found out yesterday that one of my old Newport friends is pregnant with twins and I am SOOOOO very excited for her and her husband. It sounded like it had been a long journey to get there and she is SO pumped! I found out through her status update on Facebook...I told her I was "tears in my eyes excited" for her...you know that feeling, when tears just show up in your eyes...happy tears! She had just heard the heartbeats and there is NOTHING that sounds as sweet as that 'thud-thud-thud'...I cannot imagine what it would be like to hear 2! SO COOL!

Many of you already know, but I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago today. I went in for my ultrasound and the baby had no heartbeat. I was supposed to be 11 weeks but the baby only measured 10w 2d so it had probably happened just a few days earlier. I was scheduled for a D & C the next evening. Instantly in my head, I knew this was not the end of the world, but my heart was broken.

It's been amazing to hear from so many friends and others that they too have gone through the experience. Not only the experience of miscarrying, but of being "ok" in their head but devastated in their heart. I'm SO thankful that we had a great pregnancy experience the first time (minus the broken leg and all) so I know we're capable. This is just not a club that I wanted to join, although I don't think anyone does.

Now, I'm trying to figure out how I 'commemorate' the little life that was growing inside me, that I had hopes for and plans for and that we were picking out names for...how do you honor that? I think this blog is one way. We had been trying to get pregnant and we were ecstatic when we found out we were but also a little surprised. I knew I could have been in a better place physically, mentally and organizationally (the chaos that surrounds) than I was. So this is my do-over. I get to spend the rest of the year doing that and I'm pretty excited. Once again time is flying by, so I need to get a move on!

The moral of this post is I know in my HEART that GOD IS GOOD and LOVING and HAS A PLAN FOR MY LIFE. I'm tired of passively living and taking what comes my way. I want to walk with HIM and LIVE with the LOVE and PURPOSE that he has for me. I am SO THANKFUL that one day I will hear the sweet sounds of the 'thud-thud-thud' and I SO look forward to experiencing the JOY and BLESSING that we did before.






Congrats again to Heather and enjoy the next 7 months...it's A BLAST!!!!